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What is an

"Unnecessary Divorce?"

After successfully transforming his second marriage, one very honest client verbalized very accurately, the phenomenon of what we refer to as "unnecessary divorce" with the following statement:

 "If I had known in my first marriage, what I learned in my second marriage with the help of Marriage and Family Therapy Services, I know my first wife and I could have made our marriage what we had wanted it to be. 

I'm grateful to have learned what I did, and I have no regrets. But I am absolutely clear that in both marriages, skills are what we were lacking. And once we learned and practiced the skills of how to interrupt and change the old behavior patterns, we knew how to create what we really wanted in the relationship. Anyone can do this. All it takes is willingness, and practice."

What makes A Marriage and Family Therapist different?

Not all Therapist-Training is the Same. And some training programs are much better than others for specific kinds of problems.

Contrary to popular understanding, a large majority of counselors are simply not qualified to treat couples and families. Many therapists in private practice today who offer Marriage, Couples, and Family Therapy do not have the training, supervision, or experience to work with more than one person at a time in the consultation room.   

It takes specialized training to navigate the complex terrain of relationship issues. 

After all, when more than one person is present in a counseling session, they are all likely to have very conflicting and sometimes volatile opinions and ideas. If a therapist is not specifically prepared to intervene in problematic communication and systems' patterns, he or she might inadvertently appear to "take sides" or alienate one or more of the clients.

There are very crucial techniques a therapist must be prepared to utilize during these difficult interactions, to ensure that the therapy process itself does not just repeat the same problematic patterns that a couple or family walk into therapy with. Without graduate-school level training in "Family Systems Theory," well-meaning therapists will come up against these dysfunctional patterns but not know how to intervene and help to alter them.

Will you settle for mediocrity?

At Marriage and Family Therapy Services, we often find ourselves in the challenging situation of having to do "repair work" after couples and families have attempted family/couples therapy with an individual therapist. Mediocre marriage and family therapy can do far more harm than good, and couples and families would be better off starting out with a Marriage and Family Therapist. Mediocre counseling can result in mediocre outcomes at best, and at worst, it could lead to the tragedy of family members cutting off from one another and even unnecessary divorces.  

Moving beyond surviving to thriving.  ®

Creatively inspiring transformation since 1999

Marriage and Family Therapy Services

Call Today: 828.328.4673

Fax: 828.855.0602